The Neurotics are the embodiment of fab British Invasion sixties classic rock, or whatever you want to call it. Wherever we are in the world, we'll post the latest scoop here on our home page. To know more about who The Neurotics are, read our biography!

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Whither Neurotics?

You might have wondered where The Neurotics have been since our last show in August. Even if you haven't, we're going to tell you.

Between early September and the time we resume our rocking schedule this month, we have all been working on our own massively self-indulgent solo projects, just like Kiss in the mid-'70s.

Here's what each Neurotic has been up to:

• Lumpy has nearly finished recording Experienz Da Horz, his hip-hop/nü-metal album about life in the Yukon, where he has been living since earlier this year. He expects sessions at Whitehorse's huge GravelBar Studios (custom built to his exacting specifications) with the Buenos Aires Symphony Orchestra to continue for a few weeks, so he will not be returning to Vancouver until mid-December, when he will perform with The Neurotics again for two dates, including New Year's Eve.
  
  
• Dirty continues the composition and recording of an opera about his childhood, The Cesspool Oratorio, with special guest stars P. Diddy, Oscar Peterson, Yngwie Malmsteen, Finland's singing sensations the Leningrad Cowboys, and former members of Duran Duran.
  
  
• Woody is working on a jazz fusion project, utilizing only homeless street people, full-time surfers, and Whistler-area ski bums with no previous musical experience whatsoever. He has struggled on a title for the as-yet-untitled album, but is leaning toward As Yet Untitled.
  
  
• Sticky is holed up in his home studio, reinterpreting the works of minimalist composers such as Aaron Copland entirely with percussion instruments he can play with his head, while keeping his hands and legs tied with plastic zip-straps. His tentative title for the work is 1200 Ouches.
  
  
• Doink and Swingy are collaborating on an album of Ramones cover songs performed instrumentally on twin pipe organs. In order to perform, they had to arrange for the demolition of a historic Montréal church so its organ could be moved next to a second one in a warehouse in Scarborough, Ontario. But, after being put to tape in decaphonic sound using 600 custom-tuned Neumann microphones, it will be worth it.
  
  
• Quickie and Bumpy are still working on the logistics of their face-off attempt to break the world record of longest sustained two-handed guitar tapping. Because of their combined volume and wankiness, they will compete in a sealed hut in the middle of the frozen surface of Lake Winnipeg, feeding themselves intravenously in order to maintain the proper gee-tar facial expressions, and keeping warm from the heat given off by their Marshall amp stacks and flying fingers. They do not expect to finish until the spring thaw, so we're unlikely to see them anytime soon.

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Look for photos and profiles of the other members of The Neurotics throughout this Web site!